trauma – JunkieGenius

I’m really not sure how to approach this but what happened today was for me significant and I wanted to write it down and share it, so perhaps it might resonate.

I stared a new remote job almost a couple of months ago now after not working for a couple of years after undergoing some significant changes after some horrific stuff happened and then something amazing. I also came to understand that everything I believed was false.

Anyway I’m a medical coder and there is a technical component to the work I do and it is not my strong suit.

So to give you a feel for where I’m at; my trainings’ complete and I’m ready to start my own work. I had received an email regarding some mistakes in my beginning work from a supervisor. I then ran into technical difficulties which I tried to resolve about 6 times at the end of the day and could not. I felt my frustration level growing and then I heard it,

“Push back, get up from the computer. It’s a small problem you can ask someone about it tomorrow. It’s really not a big deal just ask someone tomorrow, your days over for today and they will help you out. Not a big deal. It’s the end of the day. No reason to get yourself worked up. It will be fine.”

For the first time in almost 59 years the voice that spoke to me in my head spoke to me as a friend, like someone who liked me.

“It is only the individuals who break through the social pattern by understanding it, and who are therefore not bound by the conditioning of their own minds – it is only such people who can bring about a new civilization.”

Krishnamurti

It is in finding out the truth about ourselves that sets us free. To begin to see ourselves for who and what we are, imperfect human beings. All of us believing one story or another about ourselves, stories that limit, cause anxiety and make monsters of some.

The Energy of Unconditional Love/Life. Self Acceptance with a deep seated knowledge that you are a part of something much larger that cannot be known but only trusted. Bodies and minds can break but what you are essentially is Never BROKEN. You are part and parcel of the conscious, intelligent Energy of Unconditional Love/Life. Trust in this Truth of Unconditional Love/acceptance for yourself. This has the capability of setting you free if you let it.